To be more than just an average me!
There is so much one can do. So much one can say. So much that one can conduct, to make someone's day. I want to go out into the streets. To reach the homeless and poor. To show them that there is a light. There is hope. And there is a gem hidden amongst the coals of life. I want to help the hurt, broken and lonely. To reach the forgotten and withdrawn, the abused and mistrusted and help them to discover and turn a new page! I do however have my own set of problems. I am not perfect. I am a cutter. I am an addict. I hurt people often. I trust to easily, and I also have trust issues - a lot of it being myself. I have a struggling relationship with God, but I am learning to trust Him, and look for Him, even when I can't see or feel Him. He will always be my light! No matter what hell I think I am going through. <3 Kara (19) (Australia) COPYRIGHT ISSUES... (Unless stated, and even then not always done, the photos and pictures are not my own... I usually save the photos that I really like to be used as a screensaver and then post them into the queue at a later date, to share with you also... I have posted a few posts about this previously, saying that unless specifically mentioned, these are not my own photos. If you want to create an argument and want the public recognition, watermark your photos with your tumblr url. DeviantART: http://kargie.deviantart.com If you wanna talk - Formspring
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Just watched thirteen.  Not sure what to think.  Deep, dark, but true.  How often do we try and find something that will make us fit in?  Change who we are, and go on other people’s passions/vibes, so that we are liked, or fit in even better than we already do?  How often do we try to find something to kill the pain, take our hurts away, make us cry those invisible tears, or  physically express what words can’t say, eyes don’t show, or heart doesn’t share? 

Some people may see our emotions, may want us to share our experiences with them, thinking that it will take the burden away, but it sadly doesn’t.  It makes you feel horrible for telling another person, losing a friend because it’s too much, and making you end up in a place where you just can’t comprehend their advice. 

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whomshallifear:

sunshineinmysoul:

I hate looking at myself and realizing that I don’t like what I see. But then I realize that when God looks at me, He sees His son, whom He loves just the way I am, despite my flaws.  I was created in His image, and I am beautifully and wonderfully made.     
I hate looking back at thinks I did and wondering why I was like that. But then I realize that God forgives, God wipes our slate clean every time we mess up.     
Everyday there’s something wrong. But then I remember that everyday I have a reason to sing, I have a reason to praise, I have a reason to worship my God.  Everyday I wake up I am doing better than I deserve because of God’s grace.  Everyday I am surrounded by immeasurable amounts of blessings, all I need to do is count my blessings one by one and see what the Lord has done.  Things always can be worse.  It’s all about perception, the way I see life, is the way its gonna be.  Is the glass half empty or half full?
Just one trivial think that can make me unhappy for just a moment. But then I remember that everything in this world can let you down.  Nothing lasts.  The things in this life are like a flower quickly fading, here today and gone tomorrow, a wave tossed in the ocean, a vapor in the wind.  That is why I cannot relent until Jesus is my only satisfaction.  Because Jesus is the only thing that never fades, His love never fails, His grace is always sufficient.  Jesus is all I need.     
It’s like it’s not even possible to have a day without one bad feeling. But then I remember to simply be still and know that He is God.  I remember why I am here and what I am living for.  I remember that its not about me, its all about Him.  I remember that God is most glorified in my life, when I am most sastisfied in Him, in the midst of pain and bad feelings, not prosperity.

whomshallifear:

sunshineinmysoul:

I hate looking at myself and realizing that I don’t like what I see. But then I realize that when God looks at me, He sees His son, whom He loves just the way I am, despite my flaws.  I was created in His image, and I am beautifully and wonderfully made.    

I hate looking back at thinks I did and wondering why I was like that. But then I realize that God forgives, God wipes our slate clean every time we mess up.    

Everyday there’s something wrong. But then I remember that everyday I have a reason to sing, I have a reason to praise, I have a reason to worship my God.  Everyday I wake up I am doing better than I deserve because of God’s grace.  Everyday I am surrounded by immeasurable amounts of blessings, all I need to do is count my blessings one by one and see what the Lord has done.  Things always can be worse.  It’s all about perception, the way I see life, is the way its gonna be.  Is the glass half empty or half full?

Just one trivial think that can make me unhappy for just a moment. But then I remember that everything in this world can let you down.  Nothing lasts.  The things in this life are like a flower quickly fading, here today and gone tomorrow, a wave tossed in the ocean, a vapor in the wind.  That is why I cannot relent until Jesus is my only satisfaction.  Because Jesus is the only thing that never fades, His love never fails, His grace is always sufficient.  Jesus is all I need.    

It’s like it’s not even possible to have a day without one bad feeling. But then I remember to simply be still and know that He is God.  I remember why I am here and what I am living for.  I remember that its not about me, its all about Him.  I remember that God is most glorified in my life, when I am most sastisfied in Him, in the midst of pain and bad feelings, not prosperity.

Warm Fuzzies Book

I had a really wise and life experienced person tell me that she has a warm fuzzy book where she puts all the warm fuzzies / positive notes she gets either about herself, or something she’s done, or something that just makes her feel happy; so that when she’s sad and depressed, and just can’t get out of bed, she can pull it out and flick through it, and find some hope to overcome the bout of depression.

I’ve got a box from primary school with just warm fuzzies from other people in it, but I never really look at it, one because it’s 45km away from where I live when Uni is on, and 2. because it’s just all over the place.  But I was thinking a book may be really good.  I could add encouraging scriptures in it too.  Like ones I got from when I did a sermon at my old Church 3 years ago, and I had people come up and give me scriptures defining who I was afterwards… it was really cool, but I’ll have to find the verses, cos one lady didn’t even know where the verse was, just what it included, and I still haven’t come across it.

So even though you don’t know me, if you feel like writing an encouraging note, or scripture or something that makes you smile, and you think it would be uplifting for me or anyone that the book lands its hands into… please feel free to formspring

http://www.formspring.com/forms/?737239-k4l6dMvkKY

LONELY - A few more random struggling mental thoughts from earlier this year… still some now too… but fighting!

Lonely
No matter what you do
How many people are around you
Where you are
Who you’re with
No one else’s fault
They talk
They interact
At times
But even when they do
Deep down you’re lonely
It’s not them
It’s you
You let few in
When they’re in it’s great
But then it hurts when they’re gone
Block them out
Let them hang
But never let them fully in
People you want
You know you shouldn’t
You’re too close
You don’t want them in
Not in the long run
Short run is good
Long run hurts
Long run causes pain
So solidify while can
Barricade and guard
Hold the fort down
And be the king of the castle
After the bloodshed’s done

Don’t Feed The Depression.

spiffyrawr:

Found this a few years ago, I think on Myspace. It really inspired me. Hopefully it inspires you too. :)

Inhale. Exhale. Now open your eyes.

Welcome to the world, it’s full of shallow people and incorrect judgments, based on the physical appearance, most of the time.

It’s also full of unnoticed depression, hate, and the feeling of being worthless.

You can make a difference, like I am and will continue to.

There is a common battle being fought by teenagers within themselves, its called depression. You may have contributed to this, or you may have helped someone who has suffered from this.

DON’T FEED THE DEPRESSION!

You are surrounded by it, you have felt it, and you have put people further in it. And this is the point I am trying to make:

Stop doing hurtful things to people, just stop. Because the thing is, you don’t know what that person has to deal with everyday.

And also keep this in mind, you could be the one whos hurting inside.

The thing about this whole sad issue is, you can’t really tell. I mean, unless that person spilled their guts and feelings out to you, then you don’t know them, do you.

There are people who question reality, people who question their existence, people who would be more than willing to end their own life.

That girl that you heard people talk shit about, she could have lost a mother and isn’t very social ever since that happened.

Or how about that one nerdy guy. He could go home every night to his sister who he watches wasting away, who’s heartbeat is weak within her frail thin anorexic body. And in his life he begins to shut everything and everyone out. One day you see the scars on his wrists and you tell others, and everyone at school starts making fun of him and talking behind his back.

Or that girl who you think is such a slut. Maybe she goes home every night to a drunken father who beats her telling her shes worthless.

Or the girl who you think acts “emo” just for attention. Maybe her parents are divorced because her father used to sexually abuse her.

There are people like this all around you, people who have gone through some really tough times, and they just can’t take it anymore.

Some people watch themselves become something they never wanted to be, and they feel like they’ve lost their identity entirely. They could be crying themselves to sleep, or each time they cross the road they think to stop in front of a car, hoping to get hit.

The thing is, you don’t know. You don’t know whats going on inside their head.

Not everyone here has someone to lean on, to tell them that everything will be okay. Not everyone is as blessed as you are.

But everyone is entitled to happiness.

You can make a difference, you can start by not judging the people you don’t know. If you see someone who looks upset, even a complete stranger, go up to them and ask whats wrong, tell them that whatever’s wrong that “this too shall pass.”

Nothing lasts forever, not even the deepest of sorrows.

Now do the world a favor, don’t say hurtful things, because in the end, it wont help anyone.

In fact, continuous hurt and pain can end in suicide. So stop and think before you try to bring someone down.

“what are these scars from?” she asked.

starkravingchristian:

zachytrslovee:

xwayshefeels:

doesithavetobesocomplicated:somethingsomewhere:letthefeelingsgo:yourmyfavouritepain:kthtmn:

“they’re battle wounds,” i replied.

she looked at me for a long time. “who were you battling?”

“myself.”

 I know this post has been around for awhile… but it’s still relevant.

EVERY MORNING, WHEN I WAKE UP, I HAVE TO TELL MYSELF THAT IT IS GOING TO BE A GOOD DAY, OTHERWISE I AM OPENING THE DOOR WIDELY FOR THE MONSTERS AND MONKEYS TO GET IN.

I felt the need to post this

larabelle:

abeautifulmess12:

The people I follow on tumbler are all beautiful people. I can see in the pictures you post, the things you choose to qoute, the words you write. But on my dash I see a wave of sadness, frustration, and struggles. I know because i do it too, I use tumblr as a place to vent and thats partially what its for, a place separate from real life where you can vent and talk and make friends with people who get you. But there are so many beautiful people dealing with eating disorders, or people dealing with self harm, to people just dealing with evil voices in there head telling them all of these negative untrue things about themselves. Its breaks my heart, because I know how you all feel. i’ve felt it too, and i still feel it all the time. I just want you all to know  that someone cares. Its true, a lot of people care, and God cares. I know not all of you believe in God, but He cares about you more than anything and wants you to be happy. I know this post isn’t very poetic or interesting. I just want you all to know the truth, that you really are loved, in case you were not sure.

(via kaaaaren-ang)
So true. I do this all the time and then hate myself for being exhausted for work or Uni or travel the next day.

(via kaaaaren-ang)

So true. I do this all the time and then hate myself for being exhausted for work or Uni or travel the next day.

capelesscrusader:

littleredboots // dramasinger324 // thingssheloves // 10daysgone // lunalovegood- // countingbodieslikesheep // samanthaaleighh // eeniebruhh // wingardiumleviosabitches

LoveGivesMeHope

givesmehope:

lovegivesmehope:

I have always been depressed.



Last night, I called my boyfriend crying, telling him that I wish he was here. We talked for six hours.

When we got off the phone, I heard tapping on my window. I looked out to see him, throwing rocks.

He lives in Boston, and drove six hours to come see me. His LGMH.

Something from April/May… Which God has slowly been showing me evidence that it’s not real…

“How do you expect me to come to You?

Loving Father?

What love?

What Father?

What do You care?

Why, when You’ve told me to stop going to people for advice, before You, leave me in the dark?

How can I come to You, when I don’t feel Your presence or warmth, or love?

Why can’t You just wrap Your arm around me?

Why can’t You?

I don’t fit in here, Lord.  I don’t.  I want to go back to school where I saw my close friends everyday.   Where I felt love.

What is love?  What is love from You?

You sent Your only Son… YAY!  but whooopeedoo for me right now!  I need You!

I don’t want to feel so alone.  I don’t want a bf.  I don’t want a friend.  I want You!

NOBODY gets me here and I thought You would, but obviously for that I might as well go and get fucked!”

Reading this now, makes this message feel so old, but still so fresh.  

A lot of this I still feel the same about, but my comment on NOBODY getting me here… is slowly being turned around.  There are one or two who completely get me.  One or two who do understand, and are there for me to talk to. Not getting overwhelmed with what I share…  Sure it may be a bit more intense than what they’re used to, but they’re still standing by, and I guess through that, it’s also God showing me what love is.  Irony that is really cool.  Thankyou to those people and THANKS GOD :)

Moon and Sunrise: Pity, sympathy, I don't need it. I need someone.

Feeling incomplete. Nothing really seems to satisfy me. I really have changed. Feeling happy with my friends, yeah fucking right. They don’t deserve to feel my pain, putting up with the fake laughter and smiles I have.

There’s something missing in my life, yet I don’t know what it is. I just…

I feel this way a lot, and there’s only so much you can tolerate.  Hearing laughter (from other people) and being around people who are always happy and bappy hurts just as much as being by yourself, in silence - or trying to block out some emotion / feel some feeling by watching television shows (hoping you laugh). 

You wonder how much of a mask you can create, because you don’t want to drag anyone else down.  You tell people things, and they get overwhelmed, and your mind seems to tell you that the subtlest gesture is their dislike… even if it doesn’t mean anything.  You want to end it all, but something stops you - like the thought of friends, family, pets, what you could miss out on… and then you wonder where God fits into all of this and hope that He just takes everything away… when you know, deep down, that He won’t.

I hope you find what you’re looking for.  I’m still struggling through this, some days there’s hope, then engulfed by suffocating darkness (by afternoon/evening) but there has to be a rainbow behind these storm clouds, right? <3

Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength.
(via greed29) (via chomplex)