I was going through some books I wrote in awhile ago, and came across a book I took to Cambodia on a Teen Missions’ Trip (www.teenmissions.com.au) in 2006/2007 (so 3 years ago).  I then started flicking through this book and came across one section of notes that I had prepared for leading at night devotions…

I still find it funny reading back on these things, because I often go “I wish I had the faith now, as I did then” but it’s in the past and you can only really look towards the future!  And I surprisingly struggle with this a lot more now than I did then… but I thought I might share it with you…

Why do we care so much on appearances?  Who says what the best appearance is, or isn’t?

God chose our specific body parts that would be perfect for us.  Like the people, who have dug and filled the trenches and posts, look for that perfect flat rock for the trench, or the suitable small wedge rock for the post hole, to securely support the post.

As in Psalms 139:13 - 16 (one of my favourite verses)

(NLT) “13 You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. 14 Thankyou for making me so wonderfully complex!  Your workmanship is marvelous and how well I know it.  15 You watched me as I was being in the utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.  16 You saw me before I was born.  Everyday of my life was recorded in your book.  Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.”

Again, and I need to apply this to myself, as well; why do we, especially females, care so much on what our appearances are like? Why do so many women wear foundation and makeup, etc. on our faces each day, hiding the natural beauty God individually gave us?

I have a friend, who works at my school, and if she’s running late, she says to me when I say hello to her in the morning, “that she’s sorry she hasn’t got her mask on yet.”  But who says we need a mask? 

God created us uniquely and specifically for who we are;  He doesn’t care if we got pimples, a physical or speech problem (like Moses).  He doesn’t care if we have different coloured skin, from the majority of people that reside in our community.  For He created us to be set apart from others.

He uses people who are different, to the full.  He has a plan for everyone, and the ones who aren’t seen as the “perfect” person are usually His most useful.  It is because these people haven’t closed themselves so much, that He can mould them and make them.  He can transform them into His image and help them to reach out to others, as they are happy with who they are, and are focused on Him (God) and not on their own selves.

There is no one person exactly alike, not even twins or clones.  For each person looks internally and externally different, acts differently, and has their own unique personality.

So lets all try just to be who we are, and accept who we are, what we look like, and how God created us uniquely, for a reason!  Maybe this will save some time for others in the bathroom, in the mornings as well.

So I just want to overall say, well sum up my devotions, by saying… Don’t worry what your appearance is and let’s get DIRTY for God!

Proverbs 31:31
I Peter 3:3-4
I Samuel 16:7

This is from when I went to India… but I still agree…

Sunday, 6th of January, 2008

Something on the Heart

We live in a world today which is content on looking only after themselves, and their kind.  However, we should not look after only the people around us, but as Jesus says in Matthew 28:18-20 - “Go out into all the World and preach the gospel”  Is it not God’s desire for us as a world to unite as one?  To not care what colour we are, what language we have, or disease we carry, but to just love each other?…

Was it not Jesus, who went into a place where leprosy, a disease, like the black plague - where people just stayed as far away as possible from, would occur?  And was it not Jesus, who whould eat with the tax collectors, and people of the lowest caste, not caring what their physical appearance was, but what was on the inside?

So I ask you… Shouldn’t we, in today’s world, instead of worrying what people think of us, befriend people of all kind, treating them, as we would treat our own family and friends? 

We were not placed on this Earth to fight and hate each other, but to be there for all people, letting Christ shind through us!

I hate who I’ve become, and the fact that I hate what I look like.  There are days where I like myself more than others… but that shouldn’t be the case at all.

I don’t know why I have stumbled into this figment of negativity about myself, or where it first started, because I definitely didn’t care what I looked like last year.  But this year I have.

With this in mind, it’s harder to accept who you are, and to let God shine through you, for others to see.  You are saying you don’t like what God has created you to be.   And compliments are even harder to accept as well.

I recently went to a night with a lot of girls where we just talked about the Christian values of beauty, and the love we should have.  Activities and games occurred which also made the night a blast.  One of these activities we did was “warm fuzzies” - writing good comments about the person, whose name is on the sheet.  However, we had to write nice comments about their inner beauty - aka their personality, etc.  Which was a super thought!

I read mine when I got home… but the sad thing was I didn’t believe half of what was written.  I couldn’t see how it was possible.  And with the next day, having a friend in my room, he saw the sheet on the floor and was curious.  I couldn’t let him see,  I mean how could I?  If I myself cannot believe those things about me, I don’t want to let others see, before I accept it myself.

Therefore I have been trying to think of ways to get back to being happy with myself.  People can compliment - but they seem to be reflected lately… they make me feel warm and fuzzy on the inside… but wear out soon after, as I let them slip away.  I need to change this.  I love receiving compliments.  I just wish I knew how to accept them… so I’m concocting some ideas…  let me know if you have any…

1. Writing a book, where I can say one thing I like about myself each day, and having it on the door, so I see it before I leave, everyday!

2. ?

(From a forwarded email)

        As I faced my Maker at the last judgment, I knelt
before the Lord along with all the other souls.

        Before each of us laid our lives like the squares of
a quilt in many piles; an angel sat before each of us sewing
our quilt squares together into a tapestry that is our life.

        But as my angel took each piece of cloth off the
pile, I noticed how ragged and empty each of my squares was.
They were filled with giant holes. Each square was labeled
with a part of my life that had been difficult, the
challenges and temptations I was faced with in every day
life. I saw hardships that I endured, which were the largest
holes of all.

        I glanced around me. Nobody else had such squares.
Other than a tiny hole here and there, the other tapestries
were filled with rich color and the bright hues of worldly
fortune. I gazed upon my own life and was disheartened.

        My angel was sewing the ragged pieces of cloth
together, threadbare and empty, like binding air.

        Finally the time came when each life was to be
displayed, held up to the light, the scrutiny of truth. The
others rose; each in turn, holding up their tapestries. So
filled their lives had been. My angel looked upon me, and
nodded for me to rise.

        My gaze dropped to the ground in shame. I hadn't had
all the earthly fortunes. I had love in my life, and
laughter. But there had also been trials of illness, and
wealth, and false accusations that took from me my world, as
I knew it. I had to start over many times. I often struggled
with the temptation to quit, only to somehow muster the
strength to pick up and begin again. I spent many nights on
my knees in prayer, asking for help and guidance in my life.
I had often been held up to ridicule, which I endured
painfully, each time offering it up to the Father in hopes
that I would not melt within my skin beneath the judgmental
gaze of those who unfairly judged me.

        And now, I had to face the truth. My life was what
it was, and I had to accept it for what it was. 

        I rose and slowly lifted the combined squares of my
life to the light.

        An awe-filled gasp filled the air. I gazed around at
the others who stared at me with wide eyes.

        Then, I looked upon the tapestry before me. Light
flooded the many holes, creating an image, the face of
Christ. Then our Lord stood before me, with warmth and love
in His eyes. He said, "Every time you gave over your life to
Me, it became My life, My hardships, and My struggles.

        Each point of light in your life is when you stepped
aside and let Me shine through, until there was more of Me
than there was of you."

        May all our quilts be threadbare and worn, allowing
Christ to shine through!

This is about 70 miles from Amarillo outside of a town called Groom, TX

Who is Jesus?
HE IS JESUS
WHO IS HE?

IN CHEMISTRY, HE TURNED WATER TO WINE.  

IN BIOLOGY, HE WAS BORN WITHOUT THE
NORMAL CONCEPTION;

IN PHYSICS, HE DISPROVED THE LAW OF
GRAVITY WHEN HE ASCENDED INTO HEAVEN;

IN ECONOMICS, HE DISPROVED THE LAW
OF DIMINISHING RETURN BY FEEDING 5000 MEN WITH  
TWO FISHES & 5 LOAVES OF BREAD;

IN MEDICINE, HE CURED THE SICK AND THE
BLIND WITHOUT ADMINISTERING A SINGLE DOSE OF DRUGS,

IN HISTORY, HE IS THE BEGINNING AND THE END;

IN GOVERNMENT, HE SAID THAT HE SHALL
BE CALLED WONDERFUL COUNSELOR, PRINCE OF PEACE
IN RELIGION, HE SAID NO ONE COMES TO
THE FATHER EXCEPT THROUGH HIM;

SO, WHO IS HE?
HE IS JESUS!

JOIN ME AND LET’S CELEBRATE HIM;
HE IS WORTHY.

THE EYES BEHOLDING THIS MESSAGE SHALL
NOT BEHOLD EVIL,

THE HAND THAT WILL
SEND THIS MESSAGE TO EVERYBODY SHALL
NOT LABOR IN VAIN,

AND THE MOUTH SAYING AMEN TO THIS PRAYER SHALL SMILE FOREVER.

REMAIN IN GOD AND SEEK HIS FACE ALWAYS.
AMEN

IN GOD I’VE FOUND EVERYTHING!

The Greatest Man in History
Jesus had no servants, yet they called Him Master.

Had no degree, yet they called Him Teacher.

Had no medicines, yet they called Him Healer

He had no army, yet kings feared Him..

He won no military battles, yet He conquered the world.  
He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him.
He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today.
I feel honored to serve such a Leader who loves us!
If you believe in God and in Jesus  
Christ His Son .. Send this to all on
Your buddy list.
If not just ignore it.
If you ignore it, just remember that Jesus said.  
‘If you deny me before man, I will deny you before my Father in Heaven.

I just got back from seeing ‘This is It’, the Michael Jackson movie, at the cinemas, and I am really not sure what to think about it.

I’ve never really grown up on Michael Jackson songs, however there are a few I do like the beat of e.g. Smooth Criminal, Man in the Mirror, etc. 

I was thinking throughout the whole movie though, “This is really sad.”  Not sad as in teary sad, but sad as in a “loneliness sad”.  Do you get me?

I mean, here we have a male singer, who was born African-American, but felt he needed to change, because the World could not accept him for who he was.  His childhood songs, with the Jackson Five, are the ones I remember him for.  Not because they were a hit, but because when you look at the videos of him at a really young age, he didn’t care what he looked like.  He was innocent. Happy. A child.  Elated.

However, as stated above, when he got older, he changed.  He wanted to become white.  He went through facial products, to be outweighed by cosmetic surgery, to be seen as a ‘caucasian’ American.  His children were also, allegedly said to not be his biological children, as he did not want them to have the dark skin… And even when he was white,  I personally don’t think he was still happy with his looks, with himself.

How many of us are like that?  I know I have been of late.  I figure “if I lose enough weight to be in the “healthy” BMI and the “healthy” waist measurement range, then I’ll be satisfied with my body’s appearance”, “If I dye my hair, tone my muscles, and wear makeup, then I’ll be accepted”.  “If I am super skinny, like the chicks that wear bikinis in the sale magazines, then I will find a guy”… Except these things are a load of IFs, and should not be weighed on so heavily.

I wish I could say that I have fully accepted myself for who I am, but it is an arduous journey, and I’m only starting the incline part of the journey.  I still see myself (2 years ago), as a Target size 18, where as I am normally a 15, bordering now a 12.  I still think I have a pot belly, whereas it’s just the way my spine is curved, and my hips elongate the stomach a bit more. And I still think I have an ugly nose, disgusting unruly hair, and far too many pimples… but God loves me anyway.

My foundation in accepting myself is God!  I do not want to go down the path of Michael Jackson, trying to accept myself, through the World’s glasses, as that IS impossible… it only brings misery, and is never accomplished.  And the more we try and fit into the World, the more miserable we are going to become, because we’re trying to change who our Creator, has designed us to be.  We are trying to say “God I do NOT like who you have created me to be.  I do not like that I have bigger hips than size 8 (Australian), or am flat chested.  And I am going to do everything in my league to change who I am, so that I can be seen as that attractive, “guy attention drawing” girl.” 

Whereas it should be the other way around…  We should be saying, “God, you have created me individually.  You knew how I would look before I was born.  You loved me for me, and not because I would be seen as that popular, skinny chick, with a rack that all the guys look at, down the street.  I am a beautiful part of your creation.  You have made me individually, and set me apart, like a snowflake and a finger print, so that no one else can claim what you have created as their own.  You love me for who I am, both the internal beauty and the external beauty, whether I, or anyone else thinks so, or not.  You love me, for me, and I should not be trying to change that! YOU LOVE ME!!!” 

Which brings me to another point.  I’ve struggled with this concept a little bit this year as well.  Dressing to impress.  Why do we do it?  Seriously?  If you don a dress, slick some makeup on your face, and fancify your hair… how are you going to impress the right person?  I’m talking about girls, trying to impress guys.  I can’t really talk on the guys behalf - because, well you know, there’s a bit of an anatomical difference there, but if you’re trying to draw attention from the guys by wearing short shorts, a bikini, or outlining your eyes so that the guy just gets lost staring into them… how do you know you’ve caught the right guy? 

Is he caught because he loves you?  He loves your inner beauty?  Or is he caught hook, line and sinker, by the beauty you elegate yourself with, ensuring that he’s stuck in a trance whenever he physically sees you, but wakes up to reality, or chases after someone who he sees as more attractive, as soon as you’ve left his eye sight? 

Bikinis lure guys in alright.  But they’re also a stumbling block.  Not just for guys, but for girls too.  Girls, don’t see them the same way as guys do, however, when you do wear only a bikini, you are going to get looks.  Girls will be wishing they had a bigger rack, or a flatter, more toned stomach (even if there’s is in a healthy normal range) and guys are going to be visually receptive, imagining what’s underneath.  In simple words, you wouldn’t walk outside, and down the street, in a lace bra and underwear would you?  Then isn’t the bikini the exact same thing?  Wouldn’t you like to save part of your body for your husband to see only?  Because if you show everything, but what’s underneath the bikini, to everyone… it’s not going to be much of a prize for your husband, when he finally comes to bite. 

I know it’s not easy, to ensure your not causing a temptation to others.  I’ve done it myself, recently, in the attempt to ensure that a friend would feel more comfortable, when around a certain guy.  I did not realise, till it was later pointed out (even though the water was cloudy), that it was not right, what I was thinking (in trying to help a friend elude full focus) wasn’t helping her, me, or the significant other involved.  It was also ruining everything (in my values, modesty, and respect issues) that I stood for beforehand. 

And yes there are times when you want to feel sexy, especially if you never have felt that way before.  But you have to also realise - why do I want to dress to impress?  What benefit is it going to do for me, or for others who see me?  Is it going to help them, or cause them to stumble?

As recently said at an event I went to, true husbands are attracted to far more beauty than what lays on the surface.  They look inwards, to the beauty that God has created there… and are searching to hopefully see how strong your relationship with God is.

God is my rock, and my foundation.  I need to look to Him when I struggle, and when I am fine.  I need to remember that He is my creator, and He loves me for me, whether I am fat, or skinny.  Black or White.  Tall or Short.  Freckled or Unfreckled.  Albino or Tanned.  He loves me for me, and He loves you for you!

~ Psalm 139:13-16~

~1 Peter 3:3,4~

~Proverbs 31~

~Proverbs 31:30~

~2 Corinthians 2:2,3 ~

~Galatians 5:22,23~

~1 Timothy 2:9,10~

~ 2 Timothy 2:21,22~

So I’m meant to be helping a friend out tonight.  Having him get some video footage of what Student Life is about.  Except part of me is not really wanting to do it.  One reason is because of incomplete assignments, and an exam soon.  The main building and growing reason however, is because I have broken out in a whole lot of pimples on my face, and some of them just do not look cool.  But it is for this reason that I have decided I WILL do it.  I am not going to pull out of helping a friend out, because I think I will look ugly.  Who Cares?  I shouldn’t.  I should let it go.  Friends before appearances I say!