I just got back from seeing ‘This is It’, the Michael Jackson movie, at the cinemas, and I am really not sure what to think about it.
I’ve never really grown up on Michael Jackson songs, however there are a few I do like the beat of e.g. Smooth Criminal, Man in the Mirror, etc.
I was thinking throughout the whole movie though, “This is really sad.” Not sad as in teary sad, but sad as in a “loneliness sad”. Do you get me?
I mean, here we have a male singer, who was born African-American, but felt he needed to change, because the World could not accept him for who he was. His childhood songs, with the Jackson Five, are the ones I remember him for. Not because they were a hit, but because when you look at the videos of him at a really young age, he didn’t care what he looked like. He was innocent. Happy. A child. Elated.
However, as stated above, when he got older, he changed. He wanted to become white. He went through facial products, to be outweighed by cosmetic surgery, to be seen as a ‘caucasian’ American. His children were also, allegedly said to not be his biological children, as he did not want them to have the dark skin… And even when he was white, I personally don’t think he was still happy with his looks, with himself.
How many of us are like that? I know I have been of late. I figure “if I lose enough weight to be in the “healthy” BMI and the “healthy” waist measurement range, then I’ll be satisfied with my body’s appearance”, “If I dye my hair, tone my muscles, and wear makeup, then I’ll be accepted”. “If I am super skinny, like the chicks that wear bikinis in the sale magazines, then I will find a guy”… Except these things are a load of IFs, and should not be weighed on so heavily.
I wish I could say that I have fully accepted myself for who I am, but it is an arduous journey, and I’m only starting the incline part of the journey. I still see myself (2 years ago), as a Target size 18, where as I am normally a 15, bordering now a 12. I still think I have a pot belly, whereas it’s just the way my spine is curved, and my hips elongate the stomach a bit more. And I still think I have an ugly nose, disgusting unruly hair, and far too many pimples… but God loves me anyway.
My foundation in accepting myself is God! I do not want to go down the path of Michael Jackson, trying to accept myself, through the World’s glasses, as that IS impossible… it only brings misery, and is never accomplished. And the more we try and fit into the World, the more miserable we are going to become, because we’re trying to change who our Creator, has designed us to be. We are trying to say “God I do NOT like who you have created me to be. I do not like that I have bigger hips than size 8 (Australian), or am flat chested. And I am going to do everything in my league to change who I am, so that I can be seen as that attractive, “guy attention drawing” girl.”
Whereas it should be the other way around… We should be saying, “God, you have created me individually. You knew how I would look before I was born. You loved me for me, and not because I would be seen as that popular, skinny chick, with a rack that all the guys look at, down the street. I am a beautiful part of your creation. You have made me individually, and set me apart, like a snowflake and a finger print, so that no one else can claim what you have created as their own. You love me for who I am, both the internal beauty and the external beauty, whether I, or anyone else thinks so, or not. You love me, for me, and I should not be trying to change that! YOU LOVE ME!!!”
Which brings me to another point. I’ve struggled with this concept a little bit this year as well. Dressing to impress. Why do we do it? Seriously? If you don a dress, slick some makeup on your face, and fancify your hair… how are you going to impress the right person? I’m talking about girls, trying to impress guys. I can’t really talk on the guys behalf - because, well you know, there’s a bit of an anatomical difference there, but if you’re trying to draw attention from the guys by wearing short shorts, a bikini, or outlining your eyes so that the guy just gets lost staring into them… how do you know you’ve caught the right guy?
Is he caught because he loves you? He loves your inner beauty? Or is he caught hook, line and sinker, by the beauty you elegate yourself with, ensuring that he’s stuck in a trance whenever he physically sees you, but wakes up to reality, or chases after someone who he sees as more attractive, as soon as you’ve left his eye sight?
Bikinis lure guys in alright. But they’re also a stumbling block. Not just for guys, but for girls too. Girls, don’t see them the same way as guys do, however, when you do wear only a bikini, you are going to get looks. Girls will be wishing they had a bigger rack, or a flatter, more toned stomach (even if there’s is in a healthy normal range) and guys are going to be visually receptive, imagining what’s underneath. In simple words, you wouldn’t walk outside, and down the street, in a lace bra and underwear would you? Then isn’t the bikini the exact same thing? Wouldn’t you like to save part of your body for your husband to see only? Because if you show everything, but what’s underneath the bikini, to everyone… it’s not going to be much of a prize for your husband, when he finally comes to bite.
I know it’s not easy, to ensure your not causing a temptation to others. I’ve done it myself, recently, in the attempt to ensure that a friend would feel more comfortable, when around a certain guy. I did not realise, till it was later pointed out (even though the water was cloudy), that it was not right, what I was thinking (in trying to help a friend elude full focus) wasn’t helping her, me, or the significant other involved. It was also ruining everything (in my values, modesty, and respect issues) that I stood for beforehand.
And yes there are times when you want to feel sexy, especially if you never have felt that way before. But you have to also realise - why do I want to dress to impress? What benefit is it going to do for me, or for others who see me? Is it going to help them, or cause them to stumble?
As recently said at an event I went to, true husbands are attracted to far more beauty than what lays on the surface. They look inwards, to the beauty that God has created there… and are searching to hopefully see how strong your relationship with God is.
God is my rock, and my foundation. I need to look to Him when I struggle, and when I am fine. I need to remember that He is my creator, and He loves me for me, whether I am fat, or skinny. Black or White. Tall or Short. Freckled or Unfreckled. Albino or Tanned. He loves me for me, and He loves you for you!
~ Psalm 139:13-16~
~1 Peter 3:3,4~
~Proverbs 31~
~Proverbs 31:30~
~2 Corinthians 2:2,3 ~
~Galatians 5:22,23~
~1 Timothy 2:9,10~
~ 2 Timothy 2:21,22~
