I just got back from seeing ‘This is It’, the Michael Jackson movie, at the cinemas, and I am really not sure what to think about it.

I’ve never really grown up on Michael Jackson songs, however there are a few I do like the beat of e.g. Smooth Criminal, Man in the Mirror, etc. 

I was thinking throughout the whole movie though, “This is really sad.”  Not sad as in teary sad, but sad as in a “loneliness sad”.  Do you get me?

I mean, here we have a male singer, who was born African-American, but felt he needed to change, because the World could not accept him for who he was.  His childhood songs, with the Jackson Five, are the ones I remember him for.  Not because they were a hit, but because when you look at the videos of him at a really young age, he didn’t care what he looked like.  He was innocent. Happy. A child.  Elated.

However, as stated above, when he got older, he changed.  He wanted to become white.  He went through facial products, to be outweighed by cosmetic surgery, to be seen as a ‘caucasian’ American.  His children were also, allegedly said to not be his biological children, as he did not want them to have the dark skin… And even when he was white,  I personally don’t think he was still happy with his looks, with himself.

How many of us are like that?  I know I have been of late.  I figure “if I lose enough weight to be in the “healthy” BMI and the “healthy” waist measurement range, then I’ll be satisfied with my body’s appearance”, “If I dye my hair, tone my muscles, and wear makeup, then I’ll be accepted”.  “If I am super skinny, like the chicks that wear bikinis in the sale magazines, then I will find a guy”… Except these things are a load of IFs, and should not be weighed on so heavily.

I wish I could say that I have fully accepted myself for who I am, but it is an arduous journey, and I’m only starting the incline part of the journey.  I still see myself (2 years ago), as a Target size 18, where as I am normally a 15, bordering now a 12.  I still think I have a pot belly, whereas it’s just the way my spine is curved, and my hips elongate the stomach a bit more. And I still think I have an ugly nose, disgusting unruly hair, and far too many pimples… but God loves me anyway.

My foundation in accepting myself is God!  I do not want to go down the path of Michael Jackson, trying to accept myself, through the World’s glasses, as that IS impossible… it only brings misery, and is never accomplished.  And the more we try and fit into the World, the more miserable we are going to become, because we’re trying to change who our Creator, has designed us to be.  We are trying to say “God I do NOT like who you have created me to be.  I do not like that I have bigger hips than size 8 (Australian), or am flat chested.  And I am going to do everything in my league to change who I am, so that I can be seen as that attractive, “guy attention drawing” girl.” 

Whereas it should be the other way around…  We should be saying, “God, you have created me individually.  You knew how I would look before I was born.  You loved me for me, and not because I would be seen as that popular, skinny chick, with a rack that all the guys look at, down the street.  I am a beautiful part of your creation.  You have made me individually, and set me apart, like a snowflake and a finger print, so that no one else can claim what you have created as their own.  You love me for who I am, both the internal beauty and the external beauty, whether I, or anyone else thinks so, or not.  You love me, for me, and I should not be trying to change that! YOU LOVE ME!!!” 

Which brings me to another point.  I’ve struggled with this concept a little bit this year as well.  Dressing to impress.  Why do we do it?  Seriously?  If you don a dress, slick some makeup on your face, and fancify your hair… how are you going to impress the right person?  I’m talking about girls, trying to impress guys.  I can’t really talk on the guys behalf - because, well you know, there’s a bit of an anatomical difference there, but if you’re trying to draw attention from the guys by wearing short shorts, a bikini, or outlining your eyes so that the guy just gets lost staring into them… how do you know you’ve caught the right guy? 

Is he caught because he loves you?  He loves your inner beauty?  Or is he caught hook, line and sinker, by the beauty you elegate yourself with, ensuring that he’s stuck in a trance whenever he physically sees you, but wakes up to reality, or chases after someone who he sees as more attractive, as soon as you’ve left his eye sight? 

Bikinis lure guys in alright.  But they’re also a stumbling block.  Not just for guys, but for girls too.  Girls, don’t see them the same way as guys do, however, when you do wear only a bikini, you are going to get looks.  Girls will be wishing they had a bigger rack, or a flatter, more toned stomach (even if there’s is in a healthy normal range) and guys are going to be visually receptive, imagining what’s underneath.  In simple words, you wouldn’t walk outside, and down the street, in a lace bra and underwear would you?  Then isn’t the bikini the exact same thing?  Wouldn’t you like to save part of your body for your husband to see only?  Because if you show everything, but what’s underneath the bikini, to everyone… it’s not going to be much of a prize for your husband, when he finally comes to bite. 

I know it’s not easy, to ensure your not causing a temptation to others.  I’ve done it myself, recently, in the attempt to ensure that a friend would feel more comfortable, when around a certain guy.  I did not realise, till it was later pointed out (even though the water was cloudy), that it was not right, what I was thinking (in trying to help a friend elude full focus) wasn’t helping her, me, or the significant other involved.  It was also ruining everything (in my values, modesty, and respect issues) that I stood for beforehand. 

And yes there are times when you want to feel sexy, especially if you never have felt that way before.  But you have to also realise - why do I want to dress to impress?  What benefit is it going to do for me, or for others who see me?  Is it going to help them, or cause them to stumble?

As recently said at an event I went to, true husbands are attracted to far more beauty than what lays on the surface.  They look inwards, to the beauty that God has created there… and are searching to hopefully see how strong your relationship with God is.

God is my rock, and my foundation.  I need to look to Him when I struggle, and when I am fine.  I need to remember that He is my creator, and He loves me for me, whether I am fat, or skinny.  Black or White.  Tall or Short.  Freckled or Unfreckled.  Albino or Tanned.  He loves me for me, and He loves you for you!

~ Psalm 139:13-16~

~1 Peter 3:3,4~

~Proverbs 31~

~Proverbs 31:30~

~2 Corinthians 2:2,3 ~

~Galatians 5:22,23~

~1 Timothy 2:9,10~

~ 2 Timothy 2:21,22~

A blog that I found through a friend’s facebook - a very relevant post in today’s society! (http://justathoughtdevotionals.com/2012/01/21/the-lie-of-beauty/)

Judges 14:1, 3, ”Then Samson went down to Timnah and saw a woman in Timnah, one of the daughters of the Philistines… But Samson said to his father, ‘Get her for me, for she looks good to me.’“

I’m glad I’m not a woman. Now please, hear me out before you start firing off those angry emails. I honestly don’t mean that in a sexist or misogynist way. If anything, I am trying to sympathize, trying to show some empathy. I’m not saying I am an expert on women. (No rational man would dare make such a statement  ) But I have been married, happily married I might add, to a woman for over 20 years. In addition, I am also the proud father of two teenage girls. So, in my opinion, I do have a little experience in the field in question. Okay. I think that I’ve dug the hole deep enough now. Maybe I should just get on to my point for today. Yeah, might be a good idea…

I don’t envy today’s women because of the unceasing, blatant media push to define beauty. Liposuction. Heavy makeup. Plastic surgery. Enhancements. Tummy tucks. Body sculpting. Rigorous diets. Washboard abs. Airbrushed photographs. Clothes? Perfect. Hair? Perfect. Body shape? Perfect. Everywhere you look. On every channel. On the cover of every magazine. Women are bombarded with a constant stream of the world’s definition of beauty. It’s truly unbelievable to me (not to mention entirely unrealistic). The Barbie dolls that my girls played with in their younger years have seemingly come to life before our very eyes. I mean, seriously? Am I the only one who looks at some of today’s top models and most popular celebrities and thinks, “Somebody buy that girl a sandwich!”

I find in interesting that in the first 7 verses of Judges 14 we discover a definite emphasis on Samson’s basis for marriage. 4 times the text refers to Samson seeing a woman and communicating to his parents that, “she looked good.” The thing that makes it even more telling is that the same passage only mentions that he actually spoke with her once. But hey, I’m not telling you ladies anything you don’t already know to be true. Many men are driven by visual stimuli. A woman’s appearance has incredible impact upon a man. And that is what makes our current culture’s misguided conception of beauty so damaging.

First of all, ladies, you need to be aware that there will always be some men like Samson. Samson couldn’t care less that the woman was a Philistine, i.e. an enemy of the people of God. Her faith meant nothing to him. Their religious differences? He didn’t give them a second thought. He saw her. She looked good to him. End of discussion. For some men godly character means nothing. For that type of man breasts will always trump brains. Sadly, for such men it’s all about an appearance, one that ultimately is deceptive and fleeting. Ladies, if I could give you one word of counsel, it would be this… STOP WASTING YOUR TIME TRYING TO IMPRESS THAT TYPE OF GUY!!! I’m not saying it will be easy. But honestly? You deserve better. If his sole attraction to you is based on your appearance, the “love” that he professes will eventually be turned toward another.

Secondly, I want to tell any and every woman reading this today that you are beautiful. God created you. God lovingly designed you. You are His treasure. You are His unique masterpiece. And last time I checked, the Bible declares that all that He does is good. Stop measuring yourself with the broken standards that come from a lost and dying world. Stop believing the lies that Hollywood and Madison Avenue keep trying to stuff down your throats. Real beauty doesn’t come from a bottle. Real beauty isn’t applied with a brush. Want to see God’s idea of beautiful? Go look in the mirror. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!!!

Finally, I would like say to the men who are reading this note today, raise your standards and stop selling yourself short. Samson’s marriage to the that hot Philistine chick? Didn’t last. In fact, it turned out real bad for Samson. In time she ended up with one of Samson’s friends. (Hey, I’m not making this up. True story. Look at the rest of the chapter if you don’t believe.) Beauty can be a lie. It has a way of blinding you to a woman’s true nature and character. Samson saw only the woman’s looks and chose to overlook the real issues in her life. She was not a woman of faith. She was not a woman of character. By the end of the story Samson found himself angry and alone because he had bought the lie of beauty.

True beauty is something far different from what People magazine celebrates in its annual “50 Most Beautiful People” issue. True beauty comes from awareness. It’s a recognition that you are a daughter of God, that you were made in His image. Beauty is kindness. Beauty is grace. Beauty is purity. Beauty is godly character. Ladies, that’s the only standard you should seek to satisfy. And men? That’s the only woman you should really ever chase.