thesideyouneverread:

My story is just like any other. I was raised in a Christian household. Went to private school for ten years and accepted Christ to be my Savior when I was in Kindergarten right after chapel. At the time I thought Jesus, God, and the Holy Spirit were swell. I went through school not really ever stopping to realize how great Jesus really is. In 8^th grade I pretty much lost all my friends. It was all superficial relationships. I was bullied. I was given a locker note saying, “We all know your secret” then on the back of that note was “Cymbalta can help” along with all the side affects. This was just the beginning. Then I created a Formspring online-pretty much set myself up to get anonymous messages to get slammed. I was told to go die, slit my wrists and bleed out, I was challenged saying that I wasn’t tough enough to cut, was told that I was not athletic, and ugly. People made fun of me, saying that I was too girly. People told me I was terrible at volleyball and drawing. They said I should go try cheerleading or something that suited my weak personality. I was given notes of cartoons saying that I faked all my injuries on crutches…I was just a clutz. I was“miss congeniality” according to my parents. All the hurtful words took a toll on me. I didn’t want to eat. I didn’t want to express my feelings. I cut for the first time. I graduated soon after and moved onto freshman year. Later on in April, this girl in my first period came to me asking if I could pray for her-she was getting chemo for the first time on the weekend of my birthday. She cried to me saying she was afraid. I told her things were going to be ok. A month later she died. Things were not. Then my friend Joey killed himself. Then one more friend of mine were lost. 3 friends…gone. At only 15 that is very hard to take on. To make sure that you don’t let your grieving get in the way of your everyday social life. Eventually I checked out. I became very uncompassionate. I didn’t want to converse with anyone. Then I went to this place called Hume. I realized pretty much of how wrong I was with living this type of lifestyle I’d created for myself. I came across the printouts and notes that I kept from 8^th grade hoping, that one day, I would be able to laugh at them. It hurt just the same. Losing 3 friends and coming across the notes were enough. I had that bitterness built up inside me. A week later, on Monday, July 18^th, 2011, I said I wanted to kill myself. I had cut a lot. I could not speak that entire day. I would like to explain the process but all I remember was being frustrated…and everyone else didn’t seem to understand. I went to urgent care at 3 pm then was sent to the ER at about 5. I stayed there until 12 am. I remember looking at my momma and dad and telling them not to cry. That this upset, withdrawn monster would go away somehow. I remember being scared-if my condition was really bad I would be separated from my family for a whole 3 days in some crazy hospital. I cried. I was not crazy. So I cooperated that night and thankfully was sent home. Later I attended therapy sessions with one lovely lady named Toni. I let her know everything. My youth pastor Wedo also helped me realize that I was special. My friend Katie cried in front of me…I realized…why the hell would I want to end my life and leave her and all my friends at my youth group behind? My youth group saved my life. They constantly showed me how much God cared about me. I began to realize His true love for me…and I was pumped to share it with the world. Through my own experience it has shown me how to help others. To treat others how I would want to be treated. To say and do everything in love and compassion. Not to judge. I grew up a lot within 2011. Now I want to use my story to go out and help others. I kept working on being athletic and an artist. I can proudly say-I went from running a ten minute mile to a seven minute one. I can proudly say God helped me get my artwork in the Alameda County Fair, and we won first place and best of my class. It’s a great feeling when you know that with God He can help you achieve anything. “For I can do all things through Him who gives me strength,” is one of the best Bible verses and one that we all need to be reminded of.  My Name is Angelea Eaton. And I am second.

THIS IS SO WORTHY OF A REBLOG!!!! I hope one day I can realise and recognise God’s love too!  I understand this pain, and this pain really stinks… but there has to be a light on the other side and Angela’s story proves this.  I hope I can find it too!